Random Thoughts: 30 for 30

This week is surreal as I am crossing the 30 year threshold. A milestone of sorts. It is particularly surreal because my parents were 30 when I was born.

The growth I experienced between 20 and 30 is difficult to fully capture in writing, but I spent some time thinking about it and will share some key takeaways and random thoughts.

I can not say that I have 30 lessons to share about life. Life is not that complicated.  (Besides, you would probably tire after lesson #13 or so.)

 From 20 to 30

At this stage 10 years ago, I was preparing to enlist in the National Guard. 19 days after I turned 20, I enlisted as a PV2. 1 year later, I graduated Infantry OSUT.

Now, 10 years beyond my 20th birthday, I am a Captain and Company Commander. 10 years ago I would snap to attention if I saw a Captain and was hesitant to speak to them or anyone exceeding the rank. Now I know that most officers are just soldiers like the rest of us. They are more normal than I would have ever thought as a newly minted Private.

The last 10 years have been marked by my military service. Memories, relationships, growth. There is no part of my life that has not been touched by the decision I made at age 20. It was a great decision and I would make it again.

– 10 years ago, my family was whole with a pretty optimistic view of the future. Mom was clear of the cancer she started fighting a few years before. Dad was looking to retire soon. Sister was moving along as an adult. Life was good.

Now, I have lived 7 years without my Mom as the cancer returned with a vengeance and she died shortly before my 23rd birthday. This feels like an eternity ago and life before then feels even more distant. Our family was never the same of course, but we have all moved on in some ways. 7 years later, I live at peace with loss. Death, while painful, is really just a milestone in life. This perspective may be a bit callous to you reading this now, but it’s true. I love and miss my Mom, but my grief is no longer a sharp pain. It is more of a longing you experience when you haven’t seen someone in a long time… and I am okay with that.

– Personally and professionally I’ve made great strides. My military career has been successful to this point. I completed my education and started a professional career that I enjoy. The Lord’s provision is real and tangible.

– I have lost a lot. Been burglarized twice. Had some (read, a painful sum of) money recouped by the military. Made some questionable purchases and investments.

I have gained a lot. Been promoted a few times. Made some good decisions and good investments.

– With all of this though, my view of money has evolved. I was always a saver and typically an obedient giver. However, now I recognize a tension that exists. Part of me, and many of us I imagine, desires the security that our assets seem to provide us. On the other hand, I have experienced indescribable joy and freedom from being generous. On top of that, the unexpected loss of my mother profoundly impacted my view of time… and consequently my view of money. They are related of course, time and money.

I read a quote the other day that captures this relationship – “the price of anything is the amount of life you exchange for it.” – Henry David Thoreau

 Want to truly understand your priorities? Just ask yourself, what am I exchanging my time and my money for?

The things, people, places, ideas, etc that comprise the answer to this question is your life. This truth is absolutely inescapable.

 Changes from 20 to 30

I have changed a lot in the last 10 years.

– I see a lot more gray than I used to. I still have my areas of black and white, but understanding that I don’t even adhere to the standards I believe in has allowed me to understand people better. We are all imperfect and fallen. This has magnified God’s grace and hopefully allowed me to extend the same grace to others. The truth is, although I try to make things simple, people cannot be simplified. They are incredibly complex. Every person you meet has unique physical, mental, emotional, relational, and spiritual attributes that cannot be refined to something you could call “simple”. In addition to these attributes, an individual’s experiences add yet another layer of complexity. All of this has increased the gray I see in the world, and consequently, the grace and understanding I am capable of extending to others (especially those I share opposing views with).

– 10 years ago, I had a pretty foolish view of relationships. It makes me laugh/cringe now. In the last 10 years I dated a handful of women. Some serious, even to the point of an engagement. Others, in hindsight, not very serious because I didn’t have the slightest clue what serious actually means until the latter part of my 20s. I hurt a lot of good women and experienced pain as well. That’s the way it is though. In order to love effectively, you have to be willing to endure pretty significant pain.

All of this helped guide me to my wife Sarah, so in the end it was worth it because she is worth all of it. Hopefully the lessons of the past make me better moving forward.

Simple recommendation regarding relationships: practice selflessness and marry someone who does the same.

– The entropy of close friendships from 20 to 30 is an inevitable part of life. This is not good or bad necessarily, it just is. I have less friends now than I did when I was 20, but I would also submit that I am doing life with my close friends now in a way that I never could at age 20. Friendships go through seasons, like most things in life, but there are a few constants… The friends that go through many seasons. I anticipate that this entropy will continue as children enter the picture but there are still a handful of guys that I would visit in an instant if they needed me. We may see each other less and less, but I’ll always have their back.

 Looking to 30 and Beyond

– The next big life step would be children I suppose, but I haven’t spent much time contemplating this reality. Obviously, my wife will have something to say about this as well. Beyond that, the Lord has a way of sorting these details out. I’m not worried about it.

– I was talking to some 18 – 20 year old guys tonight at church and realized that I am not as close to them in age as I tend to think I am. This reminds me that the next several years (or decades) of my life will be about influence. I am still young by most standards, but I believe we are all responsible for how we influence those that are following us… and someone is always following you whether you realize it or not.

– I have a few individual goals that I am still working towards, but I wonder how those will change over the next 10 years. I wonder if they should change. If they should change, then I imagine that they will (whether I surrender to this change willingly or not is another question).

Life Changing Books

– A popular saying (credited to Charlie “Tremendous” Jones) goes something like this:

“You will be the same person in five years as you are today except for the people you meet and the books you read.”

This quote has some truth to it. I’d add experiences to the list, but Charlie may have been speaking in a different context. Regardless, I have been a reader for quite some time and this continued over the last decade. I have recommended a few books over the last decade but here are the top 5 books from that time.

These books truly changed my life and were instrumental to my understanding of the various seasons I experienced in my 20s. I recommend them constantly.

 

Closing Thoughts

– For most of my life, the Bible passage that most resonated with me was Matthew 6:25 – 33. Hence the name of my other blog – butseekfirst.com. I worried a lot about small stuff. Still do sometimes, but I have more of a peace about the Lord taking care of those details. When you see it happen in your life, it makes it easier to see it happen in the future.

– This decade has been marked by a greater understanding of time. 10 years went by quickly in hindsight. Time is always like that looking back and it hardly feels like it is slowing down. I think this is probably the lesson I learned in my 20s. The value of time and how to value my time. I imagine most people learn this lesson later in life. I don’t know why I learned this lesson so early in my life, but I hope it continues to inform my living for the remainder of my life.

“Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.” Psalm 90:12

Thanks for reading.

-Brian

 

 

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What the World Won’t Tell You

Whether you realize it or not, you are constantly bombarded with messages from the World around you. Media, movies, advertisements, entertainment, etc.

Our culture is noisy and the messages are relentless. Some of the classic messages address our views on money, power, and love.

Money = Security (have you seen how many ads there are for financial advice?)

Power = Control (have you seen the ferocity of our political environment?)

Love = Emotion (have you seen a single episode of the Bachelor? Strangers falling in love all over the place)


I grew up with these messages and honestly they have been around long before I showed up on the scene. However, there are some new messages being shared to my generation and the next.

Activity = Achievement

“If a tree falls in the woods, and no one is there to hear it, does it make a sound?” has been replaced with “If you do something but don’t share it on social media, did you actually do it?”

Our culture is teaching us to derive a lot of short term satisfaction from the approval of the masses at the expense of our presence in the present.

Political Disagreement = Disdain

I am politically Conservative. I have friends that are not. Do we hate each other? No.

If you turn on the media for a nanosecond or hop on Twitter for a minute then you would think that we should. I understand the media needs to generate interest, but the polarization as a result of generating interest is infecting our society.

Digital = Social

A couple of quick questions:

  1. How many friends do you have?
  2. How many of those people would help you in an emergency?

The answer to question #2 is probably a more accurate representation of the answer to question #1.

We ARE more connected now, but I am not sure our digital connections translate to real relationship. BUT I think the world is telling us that they do. Hence our struggles on the social media front. We surrender the “here and now” for the “there and then”. I don’t think that is a wise tradeoff.


I have spent all this time identifying the messages the world tells us but the title of this is What the World Won’t Tell You. Here are a few truths correcting the messages above –

Money = Tradeoffs

You CAN make a lot of money if you pursue it. You just have to be willing to give up other facets of your life in order to do so. What are you willing to lose in your pursuit of money? Is it time, your health, your integrity? Life is all about tradeoffs and this is never more true than when it comes to money.

Power = Temporary

Nobody stays at the top forever and the illusion of control through power fades away when you realize this. Political winds change direction often, businesses rise and fall, leaders are replaced in short order. Pursuing power is like chasing the wind.

Love = Hard Work

Emotions are great, but they can never form the basis of Love. Don’t believe me? Think back to your first relational/emotional experience growing up. Okay, now fast forward to today. Do you think that feeling could sustain a marriage, family, and career ALL at the same time? Of course not. (Sadly the often quoted divorce statistics of our nation prove this as well)

Love is only sustained through hard work and the decision to commit regardless of the presence or absence of emotion.

Activity = Habits

What you do repeatedly WILL determine who you become and where you go with your life. This fact is inescapable because we cannot escape our habits. This quote (often repeated in different formats) comes to mind –

“Watch your thoughts, they become words;

watch your words, they become actions;

watch your actions, they become habits;

watch your habits, they become character;

watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.”

Political Disagreement = American

To disagree politically is to be American. Enjoy it. There are some nations where dissenting opinion can lead to death and we are over here blasting our government on social media with no consequences whatsoever. How awesome is that?

And while we are on this topic: we are not as divided as the media says we are. Don’t fall for that and don’t allow a disagreement to destroy meaningful relationships in your life.

Digital = Distraction

This is an easy one and I will end on it. The next time you are in public, I want you to take a moment to see how many people are looking down at their phones.

We are a distracted people, and our social framework is diminished because of it.

Thanks for reading.

– Brian

Becoming One: Thoughts After 100 Days of Marriage

 

For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.
Genesis 2:24

Marriage is the act of Becoming One.  Two distinct individuals fuse their lives together in every conceivable way to become one.

I married  Sarah on November 18th, 2017. The fusion of our lives began then and has continued over the last 100 days. It has been quite a time. New, exciting, challenging, fruitful, educational.

I have learned a lot. Living is truly the best education you can receive and the last 100 days have been a revelation. Here are a few lessons I have extracted from my short time in marriage:

1)       More Selfish Than I Know

Wow. I went into marriage thinking I was a selfless person. I love to serve and I understand the purpose and value of sacrifice… On my terms. But inject another person into my world whom I am responsible for and accountable to then just see how quickly my selfishness is revealed to me. This has been, simultaneously, the best and most difficult lesson I have learned in these first 100 days. Marriage is a mirror revealing these things to us that we would never see without it. Marriage can also be a refining fire if we let it, removing these impurities within our character. Making us better, more Christ-like.

2)      Challenging But Rewarding

Marriage can be challenging at times. See lesson #1. We are selfish. But there is silver lining with this challenge: progress. Progress is rewarding. When I see Sarah overcoming a challenge, when she helps me overcome a challenge… When we engage marriage together and grow. It is unbelievably rewarding. Sharing these ups and downs with her is much more rewarding than anything I have experienced individually.

3)      Comparison Kills Closeness

I have always known that comparison kills. It is the enemy of joy, gratitude, contentment. In marriage, comparison is the enemy of closeness. We are constantly bombarded with standards to make comparisons with. “Perfect” marriages, perfect families, perfect husbands and wives. Most of these come from the outside world, media/movies, social media etc. However, an unexpected source of comparison was revealed to me recently – My Expectations.

We all have expectations. You can probably list quite a few of them off the top of your head. However, I have discovered that we all have expectations we are not even aware of UNTIL they are not met. Friction in marriage comes when our expectations collide with reality and we do not handle it gracefully.

I imagine this will be an ongoing process, however an increase in an awareness of my expectations has helped a ton. It helps me to love and appreciate Sarah for ALL that she is, as opposed to comparing her to some unknown expectation that I have.

4)      Humble or Hurt

Marriage is such a unique environment because of two competing factors: 1) Vulnerability and 2) Flawed humans.

We open ourselves up to someone knowing there are going to be times when we fail them, hurt them, disappoint them and they are going to return the favor. I cant think of another environment where we make this decision (however I imagine parenting shares some of the same characteristics).

In these times of pain and disappointment, we are faced with a choice: do I respond in kind (hurt) or do I respond with humility (humble)? We can choose to be humble or choose to be hurt. This choice makes ALL the difference. Just imagine the havoc wrought on a marriage where each spouse continuously chooses to BE hurt and to carry this hurt forward indefinitely. The compounding effect of that must be one of the contributing factors to lackluster marriages and/or divorce.

5)      Believe the Best

Give your spouse the benefit of the doubt. They deserve your trust. They deserve the belief that they are FOR you, not against you. It is easy to do this when things are good (as they have been for the vast majority of the last 100 days), but what about when they are not? What about when you fight or disagree? Are you believing the best about your spouse?

This is a choice, and sometimes it is not going to feel good but this is an extension of grace towards your spouse that we simply must make.

 

In closing, the last 100 days have revealed a lot to me. Truthfully, I feel less prepared today than I did on my wedding day. I am okay with that. We tend to overestimate ourselves, so this serving of humble pie has rested nicely on my heart. This process of Becoming One is an ongoing discovery. An adventure. It is my prayer and hope that Sarah and I will always remember that as we press forward, together. My prayer for anyone reading this is that you would have an honest view of marriage. If you are single, find someone committed to Becoming One with you. If you are married, hopefully you are still allowing the Lord to work this process out in your marriage. Without Him you have no hope of Becoming One on your own.

Thanks for reading,

Brian

Do Not Be Deceived:Truth

In my previous entries in this blog series I took a look at what the world says men and women are respectively. What defines a man, what characteristics a woman should strive for etc…
Now, I hope to take a look at the truth. As always, we will begin with Scripture. This particular blog has weighed on me because of the nature of the content. What I am about to share has largely been rejected by our culture. It is not popular to “define” gender roles. Christianity is often mischaracterized as a religion that is based on male chauvinism. I pray that I would paint an accurate picture of what the Bible says about this issue.
As I said, the main source I will use is the Bible. For the individuals that do not believe the Bible is sufficient, I plan on adding support from science and my own observations.
The Truth
We are made in God’s image, and that means that we are made with characteristics that reflect attributes of God. Both Man and Woman are made in God’s image (Genesis 1:27). So I am going to conclude that Men have attributes that reflect God and women have attributes that reflect God.
Lets begin by looking at the men.  If you recall in my previous section about men (found here) I listed Power, Sex, Health/Sports, Money, Cars, Celebrities, and Fashion as masculine attributes that are praised by our culture.
The best place to begin is with Adam. Adam was the first man and he existed prior to sin entering the world.
The story of man prior to sin can be found in Genesis 1:26- 2:25. Using this text, we can discover a large portion of the truth about men.
When viewing this text there are three main attributes that jump out-
·      Dominion:
a.     God grants man (along with woman) dominion over all of the creatures of the earth.
                                               i.     Then God said, “Let us make mankind in our image, in our likeness, so that they may rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky, over the livestock and all the wild animals, and over all the creatures that move along the ground.”
b.     God instructs man (along with woman) to fill the earth and subdue it.
                                               i.     God blessed them and said to them, “Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky and over every living creature that moves on the ground.”
·      Work/Labor:
a.     Prior to popular belief, work existed before the Fall of Man.
                                               i.     Now no shrub had yet appeared on the earthand no plant had yet sprung up, for the LORD God had not sent rain on the earth and there was no one to work the ground, (2:5)
                                            ii.     The LORD God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and take care of it. (2:15)
 Follower of the Law:
a.     The First instance of God’s law is in Genesis 2:16
                                              i.     And the LORD God commanded the man, “You are free to eat from any tree in the garden; but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat from it you will certainly die.”
Now, the remainder of the truth about men will be found in the rest of Scripture. (And as I said before, for those of you that don’t feel Scripture is sufficient, I will include scientific support along with my observations.)
·      Warrior:
a.     Men, created in God’s image, are made to be warriors.
                                               i.     Who is this King of glory? The LORD strong and mighty, the LORD mighty in battle. Psalm 24:8
                                             ii.     Biblical examples include- Joshua, Samson, David.
                                            iii.     Scientific Support- Anatomically speaking men are better suited for war. They have greater muscle mass, larger lungs and hearts, thicker skin, thicker skulls, stronger bones/ligaments/tendons and they are better adapted to walk and run.
Provider:
a.     The role of men as provider for their household is established in Genesis and reiterated throughout the Bible.
                                               i.     Anyone who does not provide for their relatives, and especially for their own household, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.  1 Timothy 5:8
                                             ii.     He who gathers crops in summer is a prudent son,  but he who sleeps during harvest is a disgraceful son. Proverbs 10:5
                                            iii.     Whoever works his land will have plenty of bread, but he who follows worthless pursuits will have plenty of poverty. Proverbs 28:19
·      Resident Theologian:
a.     Men are to be knowledgeable regarding Scripture and the spiritual leaders of their homes
                                               i.     Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. Ephesians 6:4
                                             ii.     Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her  to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word- Ephesians 5: 25
                                            iii.     Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. 6 These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. 7 Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. 8 Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. 9 Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.  Deuteronomy 6:5-9
·      Headship:
a.     The final attribute, and perhaps the most widely rejected by our culture, is the attribute of headship. Essentially, men are supposed to lead. The opposite of male headship is male domination.
b.     Headship is established in Genesis, and reiterated with the example of Christ.
                                               i.     The LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” Genesis 2:18
1.     Note- Men and Women are equal, but the role of man is to lead and the role of woman is to help. Additionally, the word “Helper” in this text is actually a very powerful word. The same word is used in Psalm 33:20- We wait in hope for the LORD;  he is our help and our shield.
                                             ii.     And he is the head of the body, the church; he is the beginning and the firstborn from among the dead, so that in everything he might have the supremacy. Colossians 1:18
                                            iii.     For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Ephesians 5:23
Closing Remarks on Men:
It is said that the most dangerous lies are the ones that most closely resemble the truth, and I believe that is the case when it comes to men and the attribute of power specifically. Our culture associates power with male domination, which is then mischaracterized as “headship”. This is a lie that closely resembles truth.
Now on to women.
If you recall in my previous blog about women (found here) I listed Beauty, Fashion, Independence, Sexual Prowess and Fitness/Health as feminine attributes that are praised by our culture.
Lets return to Genesis, because that is where we will find Eve. The first woman. She also existed prior to the Fall. Again we look to Genesis 1:26- 2:25.
There are just three main attributes that jump out:
·      Dominion:
a.     Women share in the dominion granted to men in Genesis 1:26-30. Notice the words “They” and “Them”. Men and Women were created to have dominion together and subdue the earth together. Which leads me to my next point—
·      Child Bearer:
a.     One attribute that is under assault by our culture is the attribute of child bearing.  (In the US alone approximately 4,000 abortions occur each day. Don’t tell me that our culture values child bearing.)
                                               i.     God blessed them and said to them, “Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it.
·      Helper:
a.     The role of Helper is established in Genesis 2:18.
                                               i.     The LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”
Some Biblical examples include Eve, Sarah, Ruth, Esther and Mary.
Side Note- Consider the genealogy of Christ and the mere fact that women are included. (Tamar, Rahab, Ruth, Bathsheba.) The claim that the Bible denigrates women is simply false.
Now, before you get upset about how short this section is on women, I want to change up the structure a little bit and just speak from the heart. One of the greatest attributes of God that women reflect is this- Beauty. It is important to note that physical beauty is given very little value in the Bible. The famous Proverbs 31 lists beauty as “fleeting”.  In fact, the Bible says “Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight”.  1 Peter 3:3-4
I would argue that this attribute is under direct assault from our culture and Satan himself. Beauty is defined as being a certain height, weight, hair color and skin complexion. (Among other things.)
This is what I gather from Genesis:
Women are the crown of creation. If we look at the creation account in Genesis we see that each event gets progressively more complex. And each time, God saw that it was good. And on the final day, God saw all that He made and said it was very good.
The first time that God concludes that something is not good, is when man is alone. He then creates woman. Did you catch that?  In the creation process, the final thing that God creates, is woman. Crown of creation.
Women reflect the beauty, grace, and elegance of God in a way that men are incapable of doing. Conversely, men reflect the power, strength and warrior nature of God in a way that women are incapable of doing. And that is just fine, because men and women are different!
Closing Remarks on Women:
The Biblical picture of the male-female relationship is terribly mischaracterized by our culture. Men are painted as the dominant and aggressive leader while women are painted as the quiet and subservient housewife. Again, this is false. This is particularly relevant to the marriage relationship.
When viewing this relationship properly, one word comes to mind: Sacrifice. People take Ephesians 5: 22-23 and say “Hey, this is proof that women must submit to their husbands” or they will say “See how the Bible paints women, I don’t believe in that.”
But nobody bothers to read just a few verses down where Paul addresses men and delivers one of the most profound statements on this issue when he says- Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.
Now, ponder that for a moment. “Just as Christ loved the church”. This begs the question: How exactly did Christ love the church? The answer to this question completely changes the dynamic of the relationship. When we look at how Christ loved the church, we see the purest form of sacrificial love. We see humility. We see grace. We see redemption. We see blood shed on a Cross.
This perspective changes everything.
Final Thoughts:
Our culture has rejected this truth and replaced it with an absolute lie. I covered what our culture says about men and women in my previous posts, but I want to make one final point.
Are we really better off since adopting the cultural “truth” about men and women?  Because the culture tells us that Biblical principles are outdated and unnecessary. But is that claim true?
The simple answer is No.
Consider this:
1.     Half of all marriages end in divorce
2.     Only 51% of Americans are married. For some perspective, the number was 72% in 1960.
3.     Cohabitation, Single person households, and single parents have all increased since 1960.
As we can see, the deception that we have bought into has not yielded positive results. Moving forward, as Christians, it is absolutely essential for us to stand for truth. And the only way we can do that is by seeking to be True Men and Women of God.

Answering the Question- What’s Next? (Part 2)

What’s Next?
Last week we took a look at this question, and this week I hope to provide a Biblical answer to this question and also offer some insight into how it applies on a day to day basis.

There are three main themes that I want to focus on from the Bible.

1) Do Not Worry About the Future

James 4:13-15

Now listen, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.” Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, “If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.”

Matthew 6:25-34

“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?
“And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

2) God’s Plan Prevails

Proverbs 19:21

Many are the plans in a man’s heart, but it is the LORD’s purpose that prevails.

3) We Do Not Own Our Lives

Jeremiah 10:23

LORD, I know that people’s lives are not their own; it is not for them to direct their steps.

1 Corinthians 6:19-20

Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.

As you can see, the Bible speaks clearly on this issue. And the answer provided by the Bible is “I have placed my faith in the Lord, and I will follow Him.”

Now, lets revisit the examples that I provided before-

1) High school student approaching graduation-

Mr. So-and-So comes around and asks you What’s Next, What your plans are for the future? Are you going to college? If so, where? Etc.

Answer
“There are options that I am evaluating, but most of all I am trusting God to guide me in this important decision”

DISCLAIMER- I am not providing some “one size fits all” answer to this question. Everyone is in a different situation. Be honest and humble when answering this question. The main point is that you are seeking God in each and every decision you face, and in that process, you will be right where He wants you to be. Mr. So-and-So may not accept your answer, but you are not on this Earth to please Mr. So-and-So.

2) College student facing graduation, and the real world-

What’s Next? Do you have a job lined up? What about Grad School? Etc

“God guided me to college, and I trust that He will guide me in this next phase of my life. I am uncertain right now, but I know that He will provide for me if I trust in Him.”

NOTE- The one thing I hope you notice in this portion is the first sentence. God has proven His faithfulness to this student and the student is confident that God will provide for their future IF they continue to trust in Him. I’ve learned that life only gets frustrating when we try and control it.

3) Young adult with a growing family.

What’s Next? How many kids are you going to have? Public or private school? Etc. 

“God has guided me up to this point, and He will continue to do so. I will raise my children based on the Lord’s principles and trust Him to guide them as He has guided me.”

NOTE- The key here is that the parent is focused on raising their child in a Godly household. All of the different worldly details don’t really matter that much. ( # of kids, where to live, how to live, who to be friends with, job to have, where children will go to school)

4) Yourself, approaching death

The question of What’s Next is never asked in this situation. Because the Christian, who has placed their Faith in Christ, knows the answer to this question and is anticipating their entrance into His Presence.

NOTE- This is awesome!!!

Conclusion-

The question Whats Next is ultimately a question of Faith. Where do you place your faith? Do you place your faith in the world, in yourself, or in the Lord?

Our Day In the Sun

I wrote this over a year ago. In fact, I wrote it on February 23, 2010. It is written to my Mom, and I felt it was fitting to unveil it on this day, my parents 30th Wedding Anniversary.

Our Day in the Sun

As the storm rolls in
and the sky turns gray
my thoughts often wander
back to the day
The day i first met you
you will never forget
at that moment our love was set
I was your second
and you were my only
Some things have changed
Like the way you hold me
I once sat in the palm of your hand
Now, look mom,  your little boy is a man.

The storm has come
The rain begins to fall
Can you hear me?
Once again i feel small
Beaten, battered and bruised
Hear your little boy’s call
Where do i go mom?
What do i do?

My son my son
Your mother is here
I am in a better place
No pain and no fear

Don’t be afraid
For i am watching over you
Since the beginning
My blood has flowed through you
I remember that day,
how could i forget?
Our first day in the sun
my love for you was set

Time to stand up son
Time to go
Take care of your father
He loves you more than you know

As parents we do as best as we can
we are so proud of you
Our little boy is a man
This storm will soon pass
And i will see you again
This much we know,
I will see you with Him.

I love you my son
One last thing
and then i am done
I am anxiously awaiting
Our day in the Sun.